How to Feel Confident: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence

图书信息

作者	Leil Lowndes
出版社	Harper Element
ISBN	9780007331468
出版时间	2009-06-05
字数	26.2万
分类	进口书,外文原版书,励志自助,心灵

读书简介

Leil Lowndes, internationally renowned life coach and bestselling author of How To Talk to Anyone, reveals how you can shine even in the most gruelling social situations. Whether it’s mingling at parties, impressing at interviews or going on a hot date, Leil will turn your shyness and dread into confidence and enjoyment. Written with insight, humour and empathy, this book explores the psychology behind meeting people, the tricks people use to seem self-assured, as well as little tips and techniques to practice every day. Leil explains how to: ? Identify the reasons behind shyness – and address them ? Overcome awkwardness at social gatherings ? Master public speaking ? Communicate fluidly ? Banish fear to build fulfilling relationships How To Feel Confident was previously published as Always In The Kitchen At Parties.

目录

Title Page

Also by Leil Lowndes

Contents

Preface

Section I: A word to the shy . . .

Don’t be an avoidance junkie

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 1: Go cold turkey on the small stuff

Don’t expect a miracle (today at least!)

Welcome

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 2: Eat the Peaches at your own pace

The confidence warm-up

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 3: Wake up like a whacko

Section II: Dealing with people until your shyness is gone

Should I tell people I’m shy?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 4: Why tell strangers?

Labels are lethal

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 5: Don’t burn yourself with the ’shy’ branding iron

Tell the truth, the half-truth, and nothing but the half-truth

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 6: I’m shy, so what?

Section III: What people really think of you

Can people tell I’m shy?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 7: Be shy on the sly

Take off your mud-coloured spectacles

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 8: Pitch the paranoia

Don’t be a sucker for rejection

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 9: Don’t choose toxic friends

Come back down off the ceiling

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 10: Stamp out the surreal

Think of your shyness from their perspective

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 11: Don’t let stupid sures make you shy

Slay the monster memories

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 12: Be your own social scribe

I think I’m beginning to love you, self

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 13: Find your passion and your purpose

Section IV: Getting out of the kitchen at parties

A shy’s most important 10 seconds

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 14: Click on ’animate’ for 10 seconds

Who’s the boss? Your mind or body?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 15: Let your body be the boss

How to make eye-contact easy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 16: Infant eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 17: Octogenarian eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 18: Eager eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 19: Say ’I like you’ silently

A quick smile and a slow jet get you nowhere fast

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 20: Make faces at yourself For the want of a smile

For the want of a smile

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 21: A lifetime of happiness was lost

Snobs don’t smile either

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 22: Don’t let them feel snubbed

If at first you don’t succeed, swear!

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 23: Your first failure is success

Battling blushing, sweating and clammy hands

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 24: Laugh it off before it happens

Section V: Absolutely no-pain, lots-of-gain techniques

The power and pleasure of anonymity

The out-of-town caper

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 25: Be anonymous for a day

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 26: Be an undercover shy

Dress as Your Fantasy Person

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 27: Kick out the dull kit Fries with That?

Fries with That?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 28: Be a part-time job-hopper

Section VI: Get a (new) life

Something to consider

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 29: Time to jump ship?

The Shy’s Sneaky Way to Get a Super Job

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 30: Interview with companies you don’t want to work for

Section VII: Parties and other places in hell

Building up to bashes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 31: Prescription: one small dose of party

Going to a party is not ’going to a party’

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 32: Have a buddy monitor you

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 33: Showing up is not enough

Preparing for a party

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 34: Ponder before the party

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 35: Get opinionated!

Getting legless is not the answer

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 36: Drink and drugs make shyness worse

How to get off the hook (half the time)

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 37: Toss a coin

The danger of being a ’denying shy’

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 38: Bring a note from your subconscious

Section VIII: Fearless conversation

Terrified of being trite?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 39: Be banal, but not brief

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 40: Sound dazzled over the dullest things

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 41: Use their moniker in moderation

What do I say next?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 42: Ask ’go on’ questions

The proven eye-contact cure

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 43: The eyeball lock

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 44: Looking longer looks smart

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 45: Lingering looks kindle ’chemistry’

Chameleons should choose their colours carefully

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 46: A little shove from a non-shy friend

Become an expert – on anything!

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 47: Find others who share your passion

How to answer the inevitable question

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 48: Rehearse your mini-CV

Nobody expects you to perform

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 49: Look, nod, smile

Passion slays shyness

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 50: Stamp out shyness with your particular passion

Section IX: Sure-fire extinguishers for shyness

A dare a day drives shyness away

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 51: Do your daily dare

Make shopping a valuable part of SOS

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 52: Inspect six, buy one

A little help from man’s best friend

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 53: Attention-getter on a leash

Social blooper remedy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 54: Make a mental movie of your cool moves

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 55: What the manners mavens say

Take a bite out of shyness for lunch

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 56: Eat your shyness

Download confidence into your eardrums

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 57: Listen to the voices in your head

Section X: Sex and the single shy

There are no love ’guarantees’

A dangerous dating game for shys

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 58: Computer dating is a sure’s game

Oversexed or underconfident?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 59: Don’t get caught in the sex/love trap

Being shy and gay is lonely

Relationship rehearsals

The lovin’ is easy. It’s getting there that’s hard

Shall I put on a big act?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 60: Act your way to confidence

Section XI: Shy no more

Graduation day

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 61: Give yourself a graduation party

Section XII: Why am I shy?

Take the ’cot test’ to see if you were born shy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 62: Ask them if you freaked out

Did I ’catch’ a dose of shyness?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 63: Rummage through your relatives

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 64: Did shyness rub off on you?

Was it bullies in bygone days?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 65: Replay the early show

It was all mum and dad’s fault

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 66: Don’t baby your baby

So who ya gonna blame?

Notes

Cheryl’s full letter

More self-knowledge questions

References

Back Ads

Acknowledgements

About the author

Copyright

About the Publisher